Wednesday 11 February 2015

Feeling Sorry for Myself

So after much discussion with work yesterday it was decided that I re-deliver all the parcels I failed to deliver yesterday after breaking my nose, so I did that today. Today's parcels were given to another courier to cover just so I could get myself back on my feet and find a spare pair of glasses being that I snapped my other pair in half.

I felt a right idiot yesterday especially as I fell over after just delivering a parcel going down a sloping drive. I put my arms out to break the fall but just continued past my arms. The first thing I yelled was 'OH BUM!!!!' as I saw my glasses in two halves. I then rolled on my back and was lyng in a position where my feet were higher then my head as it was a slope. I check to see I had all my teeth but I noticed my hand was all red, I also noted two people looking out their window's at me and doing eff all to help. Rolled back onto my front to get up but just saw pools of blood forming on the gravel which really did make me panic. I know I had cut my nose but didn't realise just how bad. I have no idea but I was trying to catch the blood (not that you can shove it back in can you but I had no tissue to hand). I scurried back to my car and ended up using my snood as a blood mopper or at least to catch it from turning my car into a blood bath. I looked like something out of a horror film as I had blood all down my face, all over my hands, all over my snood and it just wan't stopping. Felt like someone had left the tap on. I called my mother, who was home and not far from where I was to come and meet me with tape and tissues. An odd sounding request but I needed tape to put back together the two halves of glasses and tissues to catch all this friggin blood!!!

She came to my aid, bless her and also bought a damp flannel so I could at least remove the blood off my hands so that I could drive home. No one in that sodding street did anything to help me, they all just stood and watched. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THE WORLD TODAY THAT NO ONE CARES!!!!

Got home, cleaned up some more and by this time the blood had started to scab. I decided to go straight to A&E at my local hospital which ironically is right behind my mother's house. She drove me there as I was shaking like a leaf but I was practically blind as my glasses have become two parts again. I walked in and even though I cannot see detail, I was fully aware all eyes were on me as my face looked like a now congealed blood bath. Spent 2.5 hrs in A&E, they even forgot I was there because they forgot where they told me to sit. Finally I was told they could not xray due to the swelling but they would clean me up and put sterastrips on my gaping holes. I had 3 in all but they didn't put any on the top one which was the deepest and on the bridge of my nose because it was really really painful.

So today I had to use my spare pair of glasses which are sunglasses, that coupled with my scarf I looked like a right bruiser and having to explain every time someone opened the door what had happened the previous day. OMG, I was shaking like a leaf the whole tour and not only had I grazed my knees yesterday but it appears I have strained my right wrist and ribs. When your young and you fall you bounce back but when your older it seems to hurt so much more!

Really really painful to wear my glasses but in order to see I have to grin and bare, plus painkillers are really not touching the pain at all.

Tuesday 10 February 2015

OUCH!!!


This is what happen's when you fall over whilst delivering parcels. I'm more swollen today but yesterday was a general shit day as we had to say goodbye to our family pet of 11yrs... Grace. 

Monday 9 February 2015

To Dress or Undress that is the question?

Now as a courier I do come across certain situations and many are basically how you answer the door to a courier. Now women will ALWAYS be covered up, whether it's clothes, chill down relaxed clothes or pyjamas but men.............well that is a WHOLE new ball game (pardon the pun but this will make sense later)!!!

I think men think it's OK to open the door to a courier in several states of undress. Now you have several types of male attire and here are a few of the following listed below:

1) 'I can't be bothered to do my trousers up' - This type of man will have his belt undone and his fly all the way down to the bottom, flashing whatever underwear he sees fit for you to see.
2) 'I've been to the loo and need some air' - This type of man is like No.1, however they are showing some flesh that's associated with the groin area that's playing peek-a-boo.
3)'I'll cover up with a towel!' - Said man claims they are just about to jump into or have jumped out of the shower.
I think they think they look like this:
..........but in reality it's this:

and they have the most tiny looking towel I ever did see. 
4)'Oh I cannot be bothered what I look like' - Said man is in what is their chill out clothes is, which in my book tends to be from what I have seen on my route. This consists of a vest (holey or not) or vest top and underwear (boxers or saggy y-fronts which really don't leave much to the imagination).
5)'I think I'm a sex god!!' - This man is similar to the shower man with a beer belly but instead of a towel he has the most skimpiest undies that he is literally falling out of.
'FINALLY'
'SOUND THE HORNS'
'DRUM ROLL'
6)'Swing low....sweet chariot' - Nothing sweet about it but I wanted to point out that this type of man answers the door in the buff, the nuddy, nude, naked.....not an ounce of fabric covering ANYTHING!!!

All off the above I just divert my eyes upwards but yeah you do glance downwards and fear you may actually go blind at the sight of what you poor eyes have just witnessed. Sometimes, it's really hard to stay focussed on the person you are talking too as  you just want to get out of that situation as soon as possible, take a shower or laugh so much your rolling around on the floor gasping for air. Instead you remain composed, hope it's not so long, skip any small talk, get the signature and make a run for it WITHOUT looking back!!!

If said men are trying to impress...............they are not! Maybe it's the shock of having a female courier answer the door as opposed to a man....who knows?!? All I can say is that it makes my day eventful and my partner Sam worry somewhat. You see ladies and gent's my man has the rippling muscles, so these other blokies that want to impress and failing at the first hurdle haha. I'm not against size but just please think before you answer the door to collect a parcel. Think of what your doing to the poor sod standing on the other side of the door....

Sunday 8 February 2015

Tis Saturday

Yay, the day has finally arrived in what is technically the last day of my working week. I look forward to Saturday's as I know the quicker I deliver my parcels the quicker I can get home and chillax (chill and relax for those who are not as lazy at writing than I am) for the rest of the weekend without any interruptions.

The day started quite late due to my other half waking me up at 5am to change the cars over. I normally allow myself a lie in till 8am on a Saturday as during the week I'm up at 7am and out the door 15 mins later depending on circumstances but today it just didn't happen. I'm the sort of girl that once woken, I cannot for the life of me get back to friggin sleep and as this was such an early start, I ended up cleaning the house till 8am. At 8am, I logged into my PDA, to see the parcels I have for the day. The ritual is to load the pda, write down said list off pda and sort a route in my head before re-writing it into my little route book which is an A5 spiral bound hard back pad where I note down postcode, type of parcel (24 or 48 Hr delivery) Address and finally parcel number/numbers. I never enter names on the pure principal that A) There is no room to write it and B) that if ever my car was broken into there would be no way to trace names to addresses.

I do not use a satnav as such things can be unreliable in areas where signal is crap and I have driven this area so long now I know all the roads and where they are on my route in my head. Yes, I have a memory for such data and said memory for remembering all conversation's I have ever had. I'm just good with details but ask me to remember a name and I'm a lost cause.

So route was written and sorted ready to start when the post came through the door with my ID to finally file my 2013-2014 Tax Return. Ok, so it's late but this is due to the tax office screwing something up which I had requested to cease back in 2009. Anyhoo...enough about me prattling on about that issue. Drove to my parent's house as this is where I get my parcels to be delivered as the van man used to drop the parcels so late in the day that my parent's address was the quickest on the van list.

I really was very dopey today and for the life of me could not get motivated but managed to heave myself from a cosy seat to get my gear on and head out the door. Nothing much happened today other than I tried to re-deliver a parcel to an address I tried yesterday but they were well into the throws of passion. What do you do???????????????? Do you knock or not??? This is the question that probed my mind as their wails got louder with each knock. In the end I did 3 knocks but just knew I was not going to get the answer and to finally get rid of the this parcel. OH MY LIFE, I was mortified and just could not wait to get out of that situation as soon as I could. I see many scary things in my life but hearing them go at it like a bull in a china shop was really not what one would assume as a decent cup of tea.

Saturday 7 February 2015

Intro..................

So let me introduce what this page is about and why it's here....

My name is Nicola and I work as a courier, which is obvious given the title of this blog haha. Well on a daily basis I come across a lot of situations that can make you laugh and it was put to me by a family friend that I ought to note down the stories and comments of what I come across on a daily basis. Names and location's of the characters that I see will not be mentioned as I do not wish to offend or get into trouble for just using this as a general journal of my working life. Yes, I may rant over situation's and circumstances but as it stand's I have no where to vent at the moment and having such a blog may ease any stress I may be feeling. You have been warned!!!